"I only suck white dick"
when your relatives ask you if you’re in a relationship
*puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*
Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life
do u ever yell at people “I WANT TO FUCK YOU” but like in ur head
if i was a type of sauce i’m pretty sure i’d be hot sauce ;)
if you were a flower
you’d be a damnnnndelion